Just came back to Sandakan last night...
But what welcome me is Raining
Raining.. Raining and raining...

Nonstop raining...
Made landslide and accident occurred everywhere
Made people feel affair and helpless

Is it my chinese new year will be like that too??
I dont know...
All depend on God

Hope raining can stop as soon as possible
And let people see the light from the sky
Sun, please show yourself...

Go Home

Almost half year I didnt go home

Finally I go home tomorrow

Im so excited to see how my hometown changed, How is my family and what going on there

However

How I feel now is I confuse about how will be my new year?

Happy or Emo?

After new year, all the mix-term exams begin 

After new year, I have to fulfill my OCP role

All those things bare in my mind that I have to do it during chinese new year

I always remind myself dont be lazy

Can I make it?

I'm super tired now

But I still want to update my blog

Last Thursday I actually went to Kuala Lumpur to attend AIESEC Member Committee Vice Presidents Election at Taylor's University Lakeside campus

There really is a beautiful university

It more like a shopping center rather than an university

Although I missed the chance to attend another event called 1 Malaysia Dana Belia which held by Prime Minister
Through that event, we can really meet so many awesome youth
How success they and how tiny I am
I dont know whether next time I got another chance meet them or not
But what I sure that next time it will be different of me to attend this event...=)

Back to the MC VP election
That day I can see Passion, Spiritual, and Courage on each candidate
They really ready for it
Not only candidate, I also can felt how excited others is
How different we all become mentally
That day really a meaningful and special day for all of us
Perhaps this is my first time attend but I hope this feeling still able to keep lasting

AIESEC create a beautiful moment in their life and me too
Perhaps other may dont know what, how and why is AIESEC
I also no idea but it really awesome

One thing I have to bare in mind is AIESEC is not all in my uni life
I cant make it as my core of rotation and just rotate around it
There are so many thing in my life beside AIESEC

Life Is Unfair

Life is unfair
This sentences suddenly came out when I saw my friend, Nicholas's note
I still remember when he was shilly-shally whether he want to continue his life saving training
I can saw that he really want to make a best decision that can balance his life saving training, MC election and Loreal competition.
Before he take these challenges, he knew that it is not easy but he still keep going
He almost sacrificed his life saving training but he didnt
I can saw he really want to win the competition with his team
And he really want to go through the MC election

However,
Good times dont last long
He have to choose which way he want to go
But situation made he choose which way he have to go
He discharged his qualification as MC candidate due to MC election clash with the Loreal Competition presentation at same day

It really unfair
I'm not complaining, just a comment
Perhaps this is what God plan to him
Perhaps there is a reason why God plan this

I cant imagine how he react when he know this news
I knew he couldnt make the decision just for himself
He have to consider his team member
But I want to know if he just make his decision base on his own perspective
Which he gonna choose?

It also quite sadly he cant go through the election
He always said his want to contribute back to AIESEC
He want to run for MC
but he doesnt ever have a chance to say out his passion to others in MC speech
Why he cant be the second round candidate
Is it we have to care what national plenary judge us?
If you what it, you wont care it
Election is the platform show how you really want it
And convince other to vote you and give you a chance

And he is qualified to run for MC
why dont give the chance to let him show to other he can do it
If other cant accept it, just dont vote him
If he can, why dont give him the chance
It is not benefit to him but it is benefit to whole AIESEC Malaysia
If MC candidates really try to do the best for AIESEC Malaysia
Why they have to let it miss a talent that can contribute in MC level

Anyway
I will accept his decision
He made a best decision for everyone
Keep going and dont look back
We always support you..=)

My EB election process

Recently super tired because of a lot things happened
Finally the election of EB Executive Broad AIESEC ended
Yup... i didnt pass through the VoC Vote of Confidant
Flashed back from the first day I applied the position until now...
I really grew up...

I filled the application form
I made mistake that time and I kept blame myself
But finally told myself I have look forward for the online forum

10 JAN the time I filled the online forum questions
That time I felt:
Now I'm so hyproactive...
Just want ti shout it out louder
Is good is good is good to be a candidate of election
when I saw those question in online forum
What come out in my mind is not why so many questions
WHY SO hard to answer
What come out in m mind is WAO... Thank you all so much
it is not a competation for
it is a training for me
every question i answer is a step of training
is a process to learning....=)

I success passed my online answer before dateline
And fortunately I didnt miss any question

The day before Extraordinary General Meeting( EGM),
I quite stress because I still not yet prepare my speech
That night my boss, Nicholas also express his feeling
I can felt how excited and gan chong he is....=)

 

During EGM,
I really did my best already
For the 5 min presentation,
I just told them how is my experience begin and how I make my journey become worth
Before I go into the hall...
I told myself...
Dont be afraid ... You just want to share your stories and inspire others
Just like a sharing section

One of the part is:
If there is a driver and passenger.
Which one you prefer to be?
You want to be the passenger who sit behind and enjoy the view of the journey
Or you want to take responsible to be the driver to bring the passenger travel around
But that day I made it different.
I dont want to be the passenger and I dont want to be the driver too...
What I want to be?
I want to the lamp which provide the light and show the way to the driver and passenger.

I really wished that I can inspired others.

When the result came out and I didnt poured.
I really didnt feel sad or what
Just peace...
And felt great for my friend who pass the VoC
All the best to your interview....

Yup... such a worth experience
I have to know my LC more
What I realized through this election is
I still not familiar with our LC.
I'm still not ready to take the VP position

I really proud of myself and others
We all really did it well
I will keep improve myself
I can do better next time..=)
Opportunity always is there
Depend on us whether we want to get it or not

11.1.11

Yesterday really an awesome day!!
Although it was super pack but I didn't feel tired....
Whole day got lectures and tutorial class
Attended AIESEC recruitment booth 
Answered the online forum 
Meeting PM
and AIESEC info session
Thanks God... Every thing ran smoothy
Bless me... I didnt miss any question to answer 
If not, I will disqualified...>.<


Yesterday I also learned so many things
Point of view from up to down
Try to foresee every thing from a leader but not as a member
Now I have to answer with confidant but not hesitate and not sure about your answer 
This conversation really help me a lot...


During meeting, finally I heard a sentence that I really touched.
Finally, I heard people suggest to help me
Yes, I really need help for this long time ago and I cant do it alone..


Other thing touched me is someone said thank you for everything
Although it is just a usual words but I really care about it...
Thank you for saying thank you...
First time I felt we really talking with each other..=)

This week will be a crazy week
I just became the group leader for Course Information Technology and Accounting
Online Forum for Election Executive Board already begin and I still havent read true the questions
Design Bunting and T-shirt for Y.E.S.
Communication Plan of Y.E.S. and Y.E.S. Conference Plan
Last but not least is the preparation for Election

My roommate just said: I never saw you have proper and enough rest even one day

When I heard this, my mind hesitate awhile and said YES...

How long ago I didnt rest properly?

All those thing I still havent do it...
Bless me.... I can pass through all of this


Recently I also seldom hang out with my friend
My friend always ask me to go out but I just said no...
Sorry for that.... 
I will try my best to achieve a balance
What I dont want to see is
When I win something, at the same time I have to lose another thing
Now what I do is I sacrifice the time I be with my friends
Friend really important for me... I dont want to lose it


Last evening, I just went to church with my friends
Guess what??
I curious and willing to know about Him
But I draw the line and not dare become closer

Executive Board Application

Finally I sent my application form for Executive Board AIESEC Year 2011/2012
Seriously, I not satisfied for my application
At the beginning, I already made a big mistake
This mistake REALLY is a big mistake
I didnt read the instruction clearly
This is a common sense from primary school
During exam, teacher always said read true the instructions


But I made this mistake again.
The question only request to answer the top choice 
And I answered the questions for my 3 choices...-.-
Sigh~
I wasted my time...
I used my time to answer the questions that unnecessary and not familiar for me


When I wished to send 
I read through the instruction again 
Then I just realized it.
That time I really fell down....


All those questions I really spent much time to answer it
Actually If I just focus on my top choice
I can answer much more better on it.
I just came out the plans hasty
And If I got more time to think, I know that I can came out a better plans
However, in reality, No IF...


Last night I really stress to answer all those question
I ran out of idea to answer it
After 12am I already lost myself.
Time sent the application form is related to the impression you gave to interviewer
Although I really dont know the detail about it
But I promise to send it as early as possible


Thinking too much always is my weakness
I started care about others people
I kept in mind that I will be the last one send the form that time
I started blame myself that I should start to fill the application early 
but not last minute 


Fortunately, a friend asked my about my application
And I kept blaming myself and I kept telling him I will be the last one
That time I really want to cry already because I still got a lot of questions need to answer
He just told me take my time to answer it
Dont caring others but caring your own application
A short conversation can made me wake up


thank him inspired and encouraged me when i felt sad... 
When I low power, thanks for giving me power to move forward.. 
Thanks for remind me what is the most important thing.. 
Thank you so much for everything.... 
So luckily you're there..

Life is a gift

Today before you say an unkind world
-think of someone who can't speak
Before you complain about the taste of your food
-think of someone who has nothing to eat
Before you complain about your husband or wife
-think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.


Today before you complain about life
-think of someone who died too early on this earth
Before you complain about your children
-think of those who desire children but are barren
Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep
-think of those who are living in the streets ad alleys.
Before whining about the distance you drive
-think of someone who walks the same distance


And when are tired and complain about your job
-think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another
-remember that not one of us without faults
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down
-put a smile on your face and be thankful: You're alive and still around


If you woke up breathing, congratulation!
You have another chance.~ Andrea Boydston

These few days

I dont know why I just cant feel better
I need ice-cream now
Ice-cream can cheer me up...
I know I have to control my emotion
But this is the place that I express my feeling

Recently I start filling a form of  application Execution Board
And I feel like this form already kill many cells in my body
I dont know why I just cant fill anything in this form
Notion to give up always appear in my mind
But at the same time I tell myself I have to fill the form and send it

Day to day the dateline is getting closer
I start panic
My notion to give up getting stronger
Today I read the note that wrote by an AIESCer
Sorry, still cant inspire me to just go for it
However,I dont know why I so touch about what she wrote
and my tears just came out from my eyes
I ask myself why... But I couldnt find the answer

Am I look this application too heavy?
Am I tension?..
Why I cant fill it just like writing essay?

I know that I have to pass this hard time
Bless me every thing will be ok....