Busy Exam Week

Recently busy with Exam Marathon
5 days exam nonstop
1 day 1 paper
Kill me...@.@

So far still ok
3 more subjects to go
The most tough two subjects will take on the last two days
I hope the last two subjects dont kill me gao gao

5 days exams really is a challenge
I see it as a challenge but not a bad luck or what
Add oil...^^

I need to stay strong no matter what happened
This is the hard moment for me to pass through it.

I need to focus to my study now.
I cant fall down again.

Fun during study

During study week, this is what I like to do..

Draw something on the note make my book look more colorful 

Color can help memorizing..=)

When I stress or feel boring in study just do something fun to relax awhile 

LOL

This is the most funny thing I did

I use my sticky notes to do 4 different face expressions 

Ignore my ugly face la...>.<

If you laugh

CONGRATULATION 

I hope I can release your stress now

Next week will be the nightmare for me

Monday to Friday 5 papers continuously

I hope I wont fall down

I want to hit my target

I prefer to sleep lesser now rather than I not sleep next week

I need to sleep

If not I might be fall asleep in exam hall

Go Go Power Rager!!

Exam is coming

OMG!!!!

Until now I still so steady for my exams...

My exam mood or even study mood not come yet...

Better wake me up!!

Monday I will have two exam..

Titas in essay form

Organizational Behavior( OB) so many thing need to memorize 

However, I didnt memorize any single point!!

Die...-.-

I hope I wont cry after come out from exam hall...

Good Luck and all the best to me...

After today, I know that I want hit my target

But not I wish or hope to hit my target

God bless me...

Sorry, my faith is just low because I didnt prepare well yet...=(

Interview Phobia

Im very nervous now...
Later 9.30am have an interview for Thailand Summer Camp
I didnt prepare anything
Should I prepare a resume??
But I have nothing to fill in for my resume
Didnt have any great experience can talk about...
Less expectation

The most make me SUPER Nervous is the
PD application interview ( Today 11am)
I make all the interview in a day is  I hope I can focus my study later
I dont know what question they will ask
Hope my heart can stay strong enough

I cant imagine how I will feel
If I fail it...
This is the negative side...
Think too much how they question me and I cant answer
Sigh~

Just the courage that" I WANT IT " is not enough
Just be firm when people question me??
I hope I can do it...

Good Luck and All The best for me
Bless me...

Tonight meeting for conference
Havent prepare...=S

PS: 
Dont think I still busy with AIESEC stuff( not relevant just my personal activity) during study week or I suppose to sit in the library every day..
Dont think Im busy, I just enjoy and make my Uni life more interesting other than study. Although I not so focus in study.=P
Trust me, I wont let my study fall down... Because I know that I need to convince other (perhaps family) and especially myself that I play hard but need to study hard too... =P
Add oil la... Although Im now lacking behind my progress of study..-.-

Day 8: A song that match my mood

Currently my mood is very worse
The song that very match my mood

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by
Didn't I tell you

But I can't spell it out for you,
no it's never gonna be that simple
no I can't spell it out for you.

If you just realized what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.

It's not always the same
no it's never the same
if you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

If you just realize what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
Just realize what I just realized

If you just realize what I just realized

OoOoOOo

missed out on each other now
missed out on each other now

Realize, realize
realize, realize

This song is called Realize from Colbie Caillat
Everyone dont understand
But you thought you understand very well

Perhaps you understand but
One thing you all dont undertsand
You all dont understand the story behind the stories
You all never think from my side why I acted like that

Do you think I try to run away?
No...Actually I just dont want others see my tear drop out from my eye
So I choose to turn back and say good bye

Do you know tears come out from my eye
Because when you all keep telling me something
My heart keep saying is not like what you all think

So many thing I cant say out
And I just cant control my tear to come out.
Do you realize?

When I fall down
I can tell myself I can get up and continue
I can convince people ya Im ok with that
But I need more time to get up from the ground

When there is a wound that healed
I still can see there is still a scar
It still feel pain inside although the wound is healed

When I feel disappointed
I can tell myself I wont give up
But it just a sentences that I tried to motivate myself
It still a hard time for me to cheer up

When I know the way is wrong
I can tell myself
This is not the way out
I need to find another way
But actually Im lost

When Im crying in front of people
I tell myself
Shit, you cant cry in front of them
That is unpresentable
But Im dont know how to stop

When people judge me
I can smile and accept their advances
I tell myself
When people judge you, is good for you
benefit still belong to you at the end
But actually I will start to judge myself too
I lose my confident

When I ask myself to stop thinking
Actually I dont realize that I still keep  thinking
I further think much and much

Sorry,
I cant lie on myself and behave nothing happen
sometimes I just wish to escape
Perhaps just one second
But I tell myself I need to face it
And I need to solve but not looking the problem happen only

Still have one more week then final exam
Stress start increasing...
This Semester I wish to get 3.2
This is what I 'wish'
I know I dont put much effort to reach this point
But I will try to reach the point

Im very clear I cant lose it
I still remember last time during my MA exam
I closely want to cry out already
I dont know how to do it seriously
I never felt this before during final exam

Currently 3.07
If this term I get a result is bad then I will cry out
I cant lose anymore
Although I know this term really harder than last term

This target I just come out recently
Not because Im not plan it early
Just because I need to consider my ability to reach the target

My friend asked me
What is your plan for this term or next term
I always say I dont have any plan
Seriously I really dont have any plan

I not the person who will plan for future
Im the person who follow each step I walked
I never worry how will be my future
Or what I want in my future

Because I know that I will have the answer that time
Plan early prepare early
This is a good statement
But I know sometimes it wont happened for me what I have plan before
It will change by time
I never know what will happen next second
I wont know how is my ability and capacity that time

I only can wish what I want
But I cant plan what I want
Perhaps it will feel more better when I lose it
Dont put so much faith on the thing I really want
Because the feeling of disappointed is much more stronger when I fail

That why I cant promise anything at least I strongly believe I can do it
When I promise someone and I cant keep the promise
I will make the people around me feel disappointed to me
Even my friend and my family
I wont promise anything until the result is come out
I prefer to give a surprise to them

I know perhaps this is not a good thing
If I plan early perhaps I can reach the point
However, I wont ready to flight when the time is not coming yet
But I just need chance to improve
I believe I can improve my life...=)

猜想, 真相

有时候观察到一些东西时

就会开始起疑心

疑心让我不断地去猜测

没有亲眼看见都不能下定论
只好装傻

我很想知道真相

真相唯有从对方的口中说出来

不管是对方的错还是你的误会了他

都会把底线给画清

把牌都摊了出来

我的观察从没有错

直觉告诉我

我猜的准没错

只是该如何找到答案呢？

答案会不会和想象一样残酷呢？

我太爱幻想了

太爱猜想谁是谁非

也许有一天我会忍不住都说清了

或许我在跟朋友诉说后

才知道真相是如此

我经历了一次

可是找不到答案

如果我知道了答案

我又该如何面对...

又可能是我得了幻想症或疑心症

又可能是我只记得他的坏

我很想知道答案

可是我不敢面对后果...

Day 20: The meaning behind my blog name

My life share with you
This is my blog name...

Although my blog name mention share with you
But I just share it to the person who willing to listen to me
In my blog, you can know what I am thinking about
The secrect that I store inside my heart or my mind

Sometimes I will think
I may not find a person who can understand me when I share what I am thinking and how is my feeling right now...
So I prefer to post it in my blog
I just post what I like to say
No need people to understand me
Perhaps have someone who read my post will understand me

I know some of my friends are my followers
Perhaps some words I cant tell them directly
But I just hope through reading my blog
They can know what Im thinking of
Just listen the voice within my heart
No argument

My blog also is the way I can express my feeling
When I stress, sad, happy or emo
Sometimes I just not willing to find my friend and express my feeling
This may make annoying them
Perhaps they will influence by my feeling
So, I not dare to tell them
Through blogging, it can let me feel better...=)

My blog no need too much follower
Just welcome anyone who willing to follow it

Big Joke

I just realized
God made a big joke for me on April Fool

Half Year
Different place, different situation, different mood

It happened again

Half year before,
LLDS gossip time
Half year later.
AUSMAN king and queen
Different people but same person

Only me and God know what happened...

This is a big joke...

Dont try to guess...

Because I also dont know what will happen next time...

God plan everything, I wont know the answer until it happen

Last night heard a good news from my friend...
There are two or three people offered to go abroad gain knowledge and experience for free
100% can go abroad for free
Just give the names who want to go
Even interview also given tips

The first come out my mind is
The first people sure is the one tell me the news
I want be one of the two people too
Means two of us at the safety zone
However, there is five or six people wish to go abroad too

My friend just told the others
Dont know why after I saw their expressions
My mind changed already
I can sensed they all start worry they cant get the chance to go abroad
I feel their sad face tell me that I dont have the chance already

Should I give the chance to others?
Should I just use my ability to go through interviews and get the chance to go abroad
but not through the supporter
People need the chance too...

But if you fail the interview
You will miss the chance to go abroad and learn
Or perhaps no next chance already
You will be the one who bless the people who can go abroad
And look them go abroad only...

Human also have their own greedy side
Everyone wish they can be the one who success
If I said I have grab enough opportunity already
Is time to give the chance to others
I will think the opportunity i get so far is not enough
And I cant release because this is the good chance ever in my life
However, I just feel sorry to my friends who cant get the chance if Im the one who can go

Now I am agonizing...>.<