Christmas gift

Merry Christmas to all of you...=)

Long time didnt update already...

Still go many drafts in my blog that didnt post yet..

All about my MyLDS trip...

Never mind, I will post it late...

24th is Christmas Eve and my First semester result also out on that day...

Guess what pointer I got???

I got 3.07... 2 A-, 3 B & 2 B-

Sound not bad but I still not satisfied what I got..

Yup, Im the one who like to compare with each other...

Seriously, my level still so difference with my friend

My friend much better than me...=)

At the begining,  I feel upset that I got 3.07

At the dangerous line, almost not more than 3.00..sigh~

And I is far and far from the pointer that I "wished"

I just dream that I can get 3.5 but reality I knew that I not did well in first sems

But all is expected...

I knew that first sems I really played a lot, became lazy and didnt focus in my study

Every time after the things happened  always tell myself I can do more better actually

But I always not prove it in action

Even thought I always compare to my friend

How they hardworking than me

and how much they smarter than me...

I always think that Im the weakest among them 

In fact, Im still weaker than them 

But what I proud of myself is I joined AIESEC and become AIESECer

First sems I grew with AIESEC experience

This is what is different from others..=)

And that day also, I decided to buy a new laptop for myself...

Because I got the allowance from JPA already..=)

After I got my result... I start asked myself...

People will but a gift for themselves as a reward when they achieved their goal

But I failed to achieved my goal

Why I still want to buy the laptop???

I still cant 100% convince myself...

And I quite surprised that my mum didnt say any thing when I told her my result

She just asked me are you satisfied what you get?

And at the same time I just got the permission to buy the new laptop from my parent

Last night I just asked my mum and my mum said go and ask your dad

But glad that my dad agree... And gave me some advises...

This is my special christmas gift

How about you?? =)

My choice

Today I bought one of my favorite drink
Chocolate milk tea plus decoco..=)
Every time I want to drink the tea,
I always choose this favour...

I always like to choose the same thing...
Go one place eat, I always choose the same food
Go anyway, I always choose the seat I sit before...
Sometimes just feel like want to change or try new one
But in the end I still choose the usual choice

I'm not dislike to change or try new thing
But it is hard for me to choose something
Perhaps the new one will better than present one?
Or perhaps the new one not ideal than present one?
But most important is I like the present one
I'm no need to change or try new one
Because I really enjoyable now..=)
I no need to know how good the new one is

Every time people ask me what you want, which you like or where you prefer to go
My answer always is let them decided.. I'm no comment.
I can accept what their decision without any complain
For me, others happy, I'm happy
If people ask me to choose and when I chose, they dislike or unhappy
I dont want tis happen... Just spoil the mood

You can said that I dont have my own thinking or idea
But my thinking and idea just simple
I care others, I care what they want
This is my choice... I care what they really want...
Just tell me what you want but not ask me "what you want"...
But sometimes just because I not dare to make a choice
I will panic if people waiting my answer and I still cant make a decision or choice..
I prefer others choose for me rather then I choose myself
Dont think that I care what people feel
May be just because I dont know what I have to choose...XD

Miss the chance

Have you face this before?
One day, your friend want to leave 
But you miss the chance to say good bye to your friend?


Monday morning, I just waked up late and I missed the chance to say good bye to my friend
Although I will see my friend next times 
But I had a sense of loss...
I felt sad... Because I just hoped that when I opened the door I can saw he still sitting there
And still able t say good bye
But what I saw just a empty and dark living room... No one there...
All the thing had take away... No vestige...
Just like he never come before


That night I wished to spend time with him
I planned to take a nap then wake up
But because of so tired I just keep sleeping until morning
And I just lazy to wake up and keep laying on my bed
Then I missed the chance to farewell...


If I wont see my friend anymore and I missed the chance to say good bye 
I will feel regret so much
Although this times is not same with this situation 
But I just asked myself is it worth missed the chance to farewell because of sleeping?  
I know I shouldnt look it seriously 
But just feel not resigned...

Prepare umbrella before raining

Last Saturday, I didnt register to stay at hostel
This is because something happened that I didnt expect 
Early in the morning I just left from my hostel, 
took all my luggages and wanted to register for my new hostel
Unfortunately, I saw the notice about registration will begin at 2p.m.
So, all luggages just put inside my friend car and went to work


That day I supposed work from 12p.m. until 4p.m.
But I didnt know why the stuff so many to do that day
I cant finished my stuff on time and I just keep working until my stuff is finished
When I finished my stuff... Great... Already 6p.m.
The office is closed, Office close every Sunday and I had to wait until Monday then I can go register
I had no way to stay on that day and also Sunday


Finally, I decided to stay at AIESEC house 
The house that provided to intern who go exchange to stay here
And that time I couldnt complain anything about why they didnt mention the time for registration earlier
Or complain about why so many to do that day
Because I knew that I shouldnt go working that day,
I should ask for leave that day and settle my accommodation
However, just because I believed that I can settle it before I go working 
And when I knew the registration start in the afternoon,
I still keep the belief that I still can register after working( still got one hour for me after my job)
But seem that many thing happened unexpected 
Then I failed...


If there was no Intern house for me to stay
Then where can I stay? No way and I will be homeless
I guessed I'm too dependent mentality
I never worried that time I'm no way to stay
Because my friend got car and all my luggage put inside her car 
And I also can stay AIESEC house
My mind kept thinking that there will be another way out


I just realized that if there is no way out
And I just look down how serious the problem is 
Then I have to taste how serious the consequence is
Every time when you do something
Please do more effort on it
Dont try to dependent others will help you when the problem happened
You will regret when you helpless
You have to prevent the problem before it happen but not wait the problem happen then you find the solution
Prepare the umbrella before raining
If not you will wet

Gift

You know it really meaningful that you received a gift and that day is not your birthday

Just felt surprise...

Yesterday just like a gift for me

Breakfast at Khaleel and got people spent me... LOL
Felt Pai Seh too because want him to spend me
Then afternoon also got free tea with chewy pearls to drink..=)
The boss of Tea-Tac-Toe knew that I'm newbie in comic book shop
Then he suddenly said want to spend me one tea 
( Perhaps his mood is good that time) =P
But one thing felt sorry to him is I forgot his name... 
Really really sorry... 


And Yesterday is the third day of my part-time job
so far so good
Every time before I went to work
I just prayed that I wont do anything wrong, 
just go smoothly for everything
And every time went back after work
I just hope that I can go back safety
Good news is I just asked a bus driver
And he told me bus still on during holiday
Yuhoo... I was relieved to hear this news
I will be more safer to go back my hostel during holiday


Other than that,  
I also got friend promised to help me to move my things to new hostel this saturday
I never ask but she just said out can ask her for help
It's great... 
You know I just decided to move all my thing myself 
and I not gonna ask anyone for help because I just thought that my things is not too much
I can handle it... Unless I really not can do it and need help...


So so so happy...
So many "gifts" I received yesterday
However this just my first week holiday
Hope that I will have a great holiday..=)

Trust, Respect and Forgiveness

What do think as a family member and friend?


Now I already 20 years old 
and I dont want to be a load for my family...
I hope that my family will proud for me but not always worry me
Honestly, I'm not try to escape from  my family 
I lie just because I dont want my family worry about me
Still remember when I under emo and stress
My mum called me
She asked me a question 
"Are you happy there and dont hide...Just tell me..."
And that time I said everything is ok...
I hided my emotion and I lied to them 
Because it is enough to know that your parent care you
and you no need to make them worry about you


However, sometimes when they ask me..I can only say the truth
When you face problem and you tell your family
Just like you give them load and they worry you
Feel very useless
Just like I'm working part-time now..
Although my parent nagging me..
But I just convince them so that they not worry about me
I chose to tell them because I cant lie this from them and they have to know this...


Friend also like that...
you know when I face serious problem and try to ask someone for help
I really consider a long time before I ask
I dont want to be a problem to my friend
When friend help you impatiently at least he or she willing to help
But please dont promise me that you will help me but you wont
I asked twice but you still not help me
Seem that its not important to you
Fine but You know I just like an idiot... 
You just give me hope but it hurts me at the end
I would rather you tell me you cant help me.. I accept 
And my friend ask me anything  for help 
I will try my best to help
It is hard to say No (for me)
Ok... I admit im very soft-hearted 
But dont think that i'm kind...
Just because you  are my friend


Trust and respect is very important in my friendship
If you ask, I will tell you the truth
But sometimes its really my privacy 
Sorry I cant tell you and you have to respect my chose 
and it is very dangerous sometimes talking about other people( gossip)
Try to think the effect before you say it out
When people trust about you and tell you the secret
Please appreciate that your friend trust you by keep this secret
Friendship is too important to me
But I really really hate people lie to me
You not honest because you dont trust me
Once you break the friendship, you cant go back anymore
Because there is a rift forever in case it is unforgivable


Forgiveness also very important
when your friend hurts you, please try to forgive he or she
If you cant forgive, you will lose the trust
It is meaningless if no trust and forgiveness in friendship
At least when you know your friend hurt you and you know the truth
It is one of the chance to know more about your friend
Is it a true friend when you accept how your friend is and forgive them when they hurt you...

The road chose

Suddenly flashed back how I walked until here.
My primary school is S.J.K Yuk Choi
A school that very near from my house
After UPSR, i have no idea where i should go
I had thought to study at private school at time
But because I just get one A and I really have to study hard to catch up
So i chose to study at government school, S.M.K Muhibbah
Also the school that very near from my house and just beside my primary school


My secondary school not a famous school and only few chinese student
I studied one year removed class before From one 
Just because my parent worry that I cant catch up
( Mathematic and Science using english that time) 
 Then after PMR, I got 3 A 
and I have to separate with my best friends
I studied science scheme and my friends studied art scheme 
And only one chinese in my class, 
That time I chose science scheme is not because i like to study science
Just because the teachers that teach in science class is better than the art class
Some art class teachers really lazy and dont know how to teach..(ooops.. sorry)
Really different science class and art class



During Form 5, I made the decision to drop Engineering drawing and take accounting myself
Although i like drawing so much but my engineering drawing result not so good
Again i take accounting because i thought after SPM, i still can choose to go art or science
I never attend accounting class and i just tuition outside then go take accounting in SPM
That time i take 12 subjects
Math, Additional math., Account. BC, Moral, Phys. BM, BI, Chem., Bio, Sej and EST
Fortunately, I got 3 A1 and 3 A2..


That time i wish to become a teacher
But I didnt applied maktab and went to applied Matriculation and Actuarial Science at UTAR( I like math so much 'that time')
When I got the chance study Actuarial Science at UTAR but i heard it hard to study 
Finally I chose government, but i cant got in matrix during first intake( you know my result really not good)
And I went to buat rayuan and finally got the chance to study at KML for second intake
I study art scheme there, I just thought that I really lucky can study in matrix based on my bad result
Matrix is the school that straight A people can study for chinese 
My 3 A1 and 3 A2 result can study there really a miracle...


After matrix, then I just go and applied maktab
and I got into interview and passed the interview
I got major in Bahasa Cina and minor in PJK i think
Unfortunately, I cant get education course in application IPTA but get USM accounting
Then now i'm studying in USM


You know,
My interest is indoor design but my future is accounting
I just think if I dont study accounting but study Indoor design
What will happen to me?
I believe that I wont in USM now and know all my new friends here
I dont know whether my choose is right or wrong
But i will keep going until graduate
This is the road i chose to go and I have to walk until the end no matter how rugged the road is

My world

Yes, I changed my blog's layout

I changed everything... Feedjit, Cbox, clock and etc

And still one more i want to change

That is the songs in my mixpod playlist

USM still havent open the access of youtube

so i cant change the song

Just wait until the holiday begin

I just find so much blogger layouts and i really consider such a long time

Finally I choose this layout

At the beginning, I just try to find a layout that is suitable

and i ask my roommate opinion but in the end i choose myself

I just thought that the blog is yours

and you no need to think what is your visiters thinking when saw this layout

may be they will think this layout is ugly, not suitable, previous is better etc

But finally I made a decision that I want to choose what i like

Just follow yourself and not need to care what feedback or comment from others

And from now on, I wont share my post on facebook or twitter

except short stories and others meaningful or moral post...

I dont want my blog become a publicity tool( I dont know this word suitable or not)

If got people visit my blog, I always welcome..=)

And I dont care who viewed my blog and how many follower I have

This is not the purpose I created this blog

I created this blog is because here is the corner I can express

I can say what is want in here

But sometimes I still will store my secret and not going to write here

although i really wish to express my feeling

Because my blog still a public blog

And the best way to store the secret is in your own heart

But sometimes i really cant store in my heart anymore and i want to speak it out

I hope that my friends wont ask me what is going on after read my blog

Because I just want to express my feeling here

Dont try to ask the answer and dont force me to answer

or even use our friendship to know my secret

Best friend have to respect best friend too

I will tell you if I want to tell you

Just like kids playing the toys themselves

Still remember the beautiful time when you still a kid?

You play a robot, car or babie...

Build a house and create a family

Many characters you want to be and you just talking yourself

Robot fight with monster

Holding a car and moving in the air with the sound car moving you made yourself

Then girls always got their own kitchen and cook food themselves

Exchange toys like the system bater

LoL... this is the world when you still a kid

Full of imagination

The world that only you know it and people around you no idea what you are doing there

Oops... Feel that im already out of topic.. haha

This blog is my world

Enjoy blogging so much...=)

My Holiday

Finally my first year first semester gonna end soon

Still have one paper to go then my final exam will over

Then my sems. break begin

What i gonna do in this holiday??

I'm not going home and I will stay in Penang one month

In this month i planned to work part-time job..

Yup.. i found it.. a comic book shop behind Tea Tac Toe...

I want to working during my semester break not because of money

Just because i want to get the experience, 

dont let myself become lazy just find something to do

Seriously, i never working before... 

Even after my SPM, i just stayed at home and become home geek 

I just hope that before I step in to society and find a real job..

I want part-time job experience in my Uni life...

Then i will go for MyLDS (Malaysia Leadership Development Seminar) at UTM Johor

Yes... I really very very excited to this trip...

I know it will be very fun...=)

After that my friends and I actually plan to go Singapore 2 day 1 night and then celebrate christmas in Kuala Lumpur...

However, I face some financial problem now..

And i dont want to ask money from my parent 

I still havent decide whether i want to join them or not...

If i borrow from my friend then i have to pay back when i get allowance from JPA

But i just plan to buy a new mobile phone before new year...

So which one is my priority.. I still dont know...

And i want to run my comm plan for Y.E.S 

i have to learn photoshop in this holiday

Then i hope that i can read some book

What book i want to read?

Still a mystery...=P

Just first semester in my Uni life 

I already play a lot and I not really focus on my study

So my result i know it is really bad..

( No eye to see already)..*sigh~

Anyway.. Happy holiday to all..

对不起自己, 你们

A: 真的要对自己说声抱歉, 我现在读不到书...
B: 休息一下吧...
A: 可是你知道的...根本没时间了
B: 但你知道你现在很累, 根本就没办法专心读书

现在我的内心一直在挣扎...
我突然累了
不是失望或放弃
而是身体和心灵上的疲乏

还有两次考试, 我就可以停下来了...
不用跟时间赛跑...
不用跟疲倦搏斗...
不用再头痛和晕眩( 头脑快爆炸了)
不用再因紧张而心跳加速
不用再硬硬的撑起两边如千斤重的肩膀

总是要常常告诉自己:你没时间了,你不能在这时候情绪化
总要要常常提醒自己:你自己临时抱佛脚, 是要辛苦一点的
被别人看见自己熬夜成不成人样的脸
会对自己说: 活该,这是懒惰的惩罚

看见别人很轻松就会告诉自己千万不能放松, 因为你知道你自己有多差
看见别人比我还努力就会告诉自己我已到了极限, 但还想努力一点
我一直不觉得自己尽力了... 因为我在前面就懒惰读书...所以根本就没尽力嘛
现在酱拼也只不过要让自己禰补自己一开始就犯的错...

在这短短的一个星期, 已经让我尝尽绝望, 紧张, 压力, 疲惫, 伤心
第一次在考场快要崩溃, 读书读到快要缺氧放弃, 看到朋友的安慰的信息哭了出来
但同时也让我领悟坚持到底, 哭过就好, 别再临时抱佛脚...
没关系..这时成长的过程...
好好地记住...
如果成绩真的考到不理想
真的对不起, 我失败了
对不起,我让你们失望了

Sand And Stone

Two frineds were crossing the desert.

At one point they had an argument,

and one slapped the other.

The one who got slapped, 

without saying anything wrote in the sand:

"TODAY MY BEST FRINED SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE"

They kept on walking till they found an oasis,

where they decided to take a bath,

the one who got slapped got stuck in the mire and was drowing,

but his friend saved him.

After the ordeal,

he wrote on a stone,

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE"

The friend who had slapped him,then saved his life asked,

"After I slapped you, you wrote on sand, and now on stone, why?"

His friend replied,

"When someone hurts us, we should writeit down on sand where the winds of forgiveness will erase it away.

But when someone does something good for us,we should engrave it on stone so that it will not never be forgotten."

Write your hurts in sand, but carve your blessings in stone.

燃眉之急

距离大考还剩几天的时间
临时抱佛脚的我最近都在埋头苦干的看书
希望能在这几天做最后的冲刺
可说是踩尽油门
时速每小时100公厘(飘移)
虽然说不是到了极限
但至少尽力了...

远远落在后头的我
希望能在这几天赶上早已开走的火车
只怪我迟迟未上轨道
火不烧到眉头都不急
不到最后一分钟都不会读书的...

如果拿龟兔赛跑的故事举个例子
我不会是先天就跑得快的兔子
我也不会是后天努力赶上的乌龟
我会是一条平时不练习悠懒到极点的蛇
不到最后一秒钟也不参赛
还要拼命地赶上
但明明知道这是不可能的...
所以到最后故事结局是没我的份
因为是个不好的榜样


这几天真的要尽力了
如果成绩还是考到不好
真的无言了
至少可以安慰自己你在最后一刻有尽力过的...

Exam is coming

Welcome to November!!! ( Exam Month)
Say Bye Bye to my October
This month will pass very fast
First week study week
Second and third weeks is EXAM week
Fourth week.. Start Comm Plan...Yeah~ Free!!!

October is the month that most my friend's birthday and also me =)
AIESEC meeting is end... Looking MyLDS in December now....
Must be fun!!!

Yes...
This month...
No facebook.. No msn... No twitter and  Blogging ( Until my Exam is end)
Now I have to go back to my Matriculation life
No online... ( But still have to check my email)
Sleep early... Wake up early...
Focus...
Dont relax... Must stress a little bit...
Too relax not good for me...
Face it.... * Your exam is next week!!!

Study strategic, no...
3 subjects need to fill my brain memory space ( Last min)
3 subjects need to use my brain for calculation ( Good, i never did any tutorial exercise)
Cloudy and raining weather, challenging to against sleepy

My mood now is excited XD + happy =D
( at least now i feel so good) =D
Stress and sad please dont appear...
( But i know that i will)
Sleepy go way!!!

Ok... Offline..=)
Gambateh...
Good luck and all the best to everyone...

Balance

Last night I just think about application for OCP of budaya or LOVE

What stuck in my mind is?

Can you really bear it?

You have to know that next semester is more busier

YES got three big projects to run...

Before you take part in other activities,

you have to make sure that you will do good jod in your own responsibility first

And most important is you need to compromise your study...

Honestly,

I still cant balance AIESEC and Accounting

I still not able to manage my time and stress well...

What situation I face I know myself...

Which I gonna put as my priority...

I only can say that is my study...

If you ask me which you more regret?

Get a bad result or not apply OCP?

My answer is result...

I dont want step up and go ahead but cant determine the way

I dont want I grab this opportunity but fall down

I dont want I take risk to lose something important when I try to gain the experience  

Still remember during MyOA

I heard a story is about...

On their life way,

People should not always keep an eye on the rocks that make them fall down

but have to enjoy every view they past in their journey...

However,

I dont want the thing that happen is,

When I look and enjoy the view on my way,

I fall down and injured

just because I doesnt realize that there is a big rock in front of me...

This experience will give me the impact to be more be careful and always keep an eye on the rocks... 

Seriously,

for the story that about you want to be the passenger that always sit behind and enjoy the journey or the driver that determine the way where you go and take responsible to others safety...

I can only say that before I start to take this responsibility to become a good driver 

I have to improve my driving skill,

make sure the condition of my car and engine is good,

make sure I know the way where I want to go but not no destination..

Future still a mystery ...

I still dont know my cup can fill the tea or not, or may be will spill from the cup

As an accountant student,

I know that Trial balance got two sides

Credit side and Debit side

Credit side is putting liabilities

and Debit side is putting assets

You have to know which one is your asset and

which one is your liability

Once you put the entries wrong 

Your trial balance will become not balance

A Rich Man's Lesson

Once a rich man took his son on a trip to the country with the purpose of showing him how poor people can be.

They spent a day and night in the farm of a poor family.

When they got home, the father asked the son.

"How was the trip?"

"Very good, Dad!"

"Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.

"Yeah!"

"And what did you learn?"

The son answered, "I saw that we have a dog at home, but they have four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden,

But they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lamps in the garden,

but they have the stars.

Our patio reaches to the front yard,

they have a whole horizon."

When the boy had finished, the father was speechless.

"Thanks Dad, for showing me how poor we are!"

Isn't it true that it all depends on how we look at things?

If you have love, friends, family, health, humor and a positive attitude towards life, you've got everything!

You can't buy any of these things.

You can have all the material possessions that you can imagine, provisions for the future, but if you are poor in spirit, you have nothing.

The right frame of mind envisions everything.

Be strong

I really tired...

Everyday i just try to sleep as late as possible

Why I want do that?

I often sleep lately because I think i will more happier compare to sleep earlier...

I dont want everytime I wake up and realized I sleep too much

Then I will start feel tension because I wasted my time or I didnt do anything last night...

I prefer to sleep late although it make me tired

Rather than I tension everytime i wake up

Rather than I blame myself sleep too much and do nothing

Better I become panda

At least I never regret...

Honestly, I still not able manage my time well...

I still cant make prefect for my time management become effective and efficient

My fault- lazy still not alter

I still cant complete what I do as fast as possible..

What often occur is suddenly so many things i havent to settle 

I will start tension

Like what happen right now

so many things i need to settle

Forum, presentation, JPA, JD,application hostel foe sem break

Final exam become closer and closer and I still not study...

Every time I almost cant bear it..

Every time appear an impulse to throw all the thing away...

Talk about stress...

Actually I still cant determine when I stress...

I still dont know what is stress

Am I stress now?

YES!!!

What can I say??

I think i only can say that I'm still learning

I still learn how to manage my time

I still learn how to control my emotional

I still learn how to overcome my stress

And

I still learn how to control my mind and my thinking

Still learn how to smile and hide my sadness

Still learn how to be strong and independent

Still learn how to motivate and heal myself

Bless me...Bless me.. Bless me

I have to pass all these challenges

This is a part of my life

"People cant help you,

you have solve yourself"